Today's Jokes~ Mind Blowing Ones

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CHILDRENS DAY SPECIAL:

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It was May 27th Childrens day. Akpors was to represent his school in Inter-School Debates Competition.

Mc: Put your hands together as I welcome Rowan College to the Podium for their debates.
A fine litle girl with glasses came forward collected the microphone from the M.C, face the large crowd with sweet cool voice,
She said: Good day to Mr chairman, panel of judges, the accurate time keeper, my fellow co-debators and of cause my respectable audience.
My name is Angel, am here to oppose the motion says that 'Public school is better than private school...
The rest na story........
After she finished, there was a loud and long clapping even Akpors too was clapping and jumping for her.
Mc: Now, ladies and gentlemen put your hands together as i welcome to the podium Alugba-Atanga Community Secondary School for their debates.
Akpors didn't want to come out, how can he face this crowd. That's not even the problem.
What is he going to say?.
In his school they never teaches them in English. Even the so called English Language is taught in vernacular. Akpors' Principal pushed Akpors out. Immediately, there was clapping..
Akpors take a bold step forward, collected the Mic from the Mc. "warri no dey carry last"
Akpors starts... Good day my chairman.
Good day my timekeeper.
Good day my judge.
And good day my people. My name na Akpororo Ekpenta Akpors.
The name of my school is Alugba-Atanga Community Secondary School.

After that introduction Akpors quickly switched off the Microphone and started demostrating with his mouth and hands as if he was talking.. He was really giving out points. But nobody could hear. The crowd thought it was an electrical fault from the Dj.
By now, they were all curious to hear what Akpors was saying, they were shouting of Dj Dj Dj Dj everywhere.. Akpors didn't mind them.
He continued opening his mouth as if he was talking; moving from left to right, demonstrating with his hands..
The Dj has checked all his instrument. He discovered there was nothing wrong with them. So he stepped to the podium to check things out.
Before he got there Akpors had given 10 points unheard. As the Dj was About to Collect the Microphone from Akpors. Akpors quickly switch on the Mic and said:
"I hope with this points I am able to convince you and not to confuse you that Public school is gooder than private school....Thaank u. "

AKPORS SHOULD BE RATED PLEASE.

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PROFESSOR VS FUEL ATTENDANT:

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A professor drove into a petrol station in his sleek state of the art range rover sports,

Professor: guy abeg, give me full tank.

Fuel Attendant: Sir, i don't speak pidgin, i only speak English.
Professor: Ok! good morning, I currently feel a profound desire to replenish the propelling of my motorized automobile. Therefore I cordially request you to transfer from your subterranean reservoir a sufficient quantity of the combustible fluid of the highest octane rating to fill the appropriate receptacle of the said means of perambulation to the brim.

Fuel Attendant: Oga na play I dey play o, how much fuel you wan buy?.