NAIRAKITS

An old Nigerian farmer wrote a letter 2 his son in prison, Emeka, "This year i won't be able 2 plant yam and cassava bcos I can't dig the yield, i know if u were here u would have help me" Emeka wrote back, "Dad don't even think of digging d yard bcos dat was where i buried d money I stole" The "Nigerian Police" on reading the letter, went there very early d following day and dug d whole yield searching for the money but nothing was found. The next day, Emeka wrote back 2 his father, "Dad u can now plant ur yam and cassava, dad dis is d best I can do from here. Dad replied "Emekus Emekus my son u are a very powerful man indeed, even in prison u still command d policemen, i was surprised to see all d policemen with hoes and shovels digging my farm, i will write u again when i want 2 harvest". Happy Sunday

An Igbo doctor can't find a job so he opens a clinic and puts a sign post outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR 20k - IF NOT CURED GET BACK 100k. A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn 100k and goes to the clinic... Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste" Igbo man: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth" Lawyer: "Ugh..this is kerosene" Igbo man: "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me 20k" The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money... Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything" Igbo man: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth" Lawyer (annoyed): "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste" Igbo man: "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me 20k" The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get ...

A Nigerian, an American and a German board a plane. As the plane was flying over the sea satan came out and said to them: I want you to drop something into the sea, if i find it you die and if i don't you live.  The American quickly plucked a button from his shirt and threw it into the sea, satan dived into the sea and came up with the button.  ''see!'' he said and killed the American. The German threw a Pin into the sea, Satan dived and came out with the Pin. ''See!'' he said and killed the German.  The Nigerian brought out a pure water sachet, opened it and poured the contents into the sea holding back the sachet, he said to Satan,  ''Oya begin find water inside water...Idiot''...  Nigerian still wiser ''Even the devil bowed''..  Share this with your friends and begin their day with laughter.

A girl Fell from 80th floor building, A boy caught her on 65th floor and asked her...will u hug me...? She replied.., of course not...he dropped her. ........... she was caught on 30th floor by another boy....He asked her, will u kiss me..? no not at all, she replied he dropped her too.. she prayed for a last chance when a boy held her on the 5th floor.. she immediately said...ok i will hug u and kiss u.. The boy dropped her saying Astagfirullah !! I am fasting HAPPY RAMADAN

1st JOKE An Edo Man invited his friends for his mother's burial. After lowering the coffin, the family put yam, rice, meat etc, into the grave in line with tradition. A man asked why? The Edo man smiled & said, "According to our tradition, the dead go on a long journey & need all the food items they can get" The man dropped N100,000 inside and said, "when the food finish, buy more". Another man dropped N50,000 and said, "add this incase it's not enough". Akpos smiled and brought out his cheque book & wrote a cheque of N200,000, dropped it in the coffin & took the N150,000 notes as a change, then said, "Nwanne, withdraw when you reach there o...It is going to be a dangerous journey we don't know how many robbers are out there and afterall we are in a cashless economy na! Travel well o!" 2nd JOKE Queen Elizabeth, Bill Gates and Akpors died and went to hell. The Devil has only one phone and he char...

1. Three drunk men and also under drugs, stopped a taxi.The taxi driver figured they were not in their right minds, so he just switched on the engine and switched it off and told them "We arrived". The 1st man gave him money, the 2nd man said "Thank you" while the 3rd slapped him! The taxi driver got surprised thinking the 3rd guy that slapped him realized the car didn't move an inch, so he asked; "what was That (slap) for?" The drunk man replied; "Control your speed next time. U almost killed us.!!!" 2. Jane was called by an Unknown number. UNKNOWN: Hi, do you have a boyfriend? JANE: Yeah. UNKNOWN: So you have a boyfriend.!!. Its your dad. I'm coming so that you'll tell me when you grew horns! Next five minutes later, another Unknown caller called. UNKNOWN: Hi, do you have a boyfriend? JANE: No. UNKNOWN: I see you don't love me. I'm your boyfriend. JANE: Oh Sweet heart, I love you. I thought it was ...

FIRST JOKE: Akpors was coming back from school singing aloud and dancing as if he had won a lottery... His parents were just wondering why Akpors was so happy and decided to ask him.. MOTHER: My son I have never seen you in this mood for a while; Any good news to share ? AKPORS: Mom and dad next year you won't be buying any textbook, notebook or any study material for me. FATHER: Thats my boy...why? Did you win a scholarship? AKPORS: No..! I'm repeating the same class again next year. 2ND JOKE: A teacher asked Alex if he should ask him one difficult question or two simple question, "One difficult question sir", Alex answered". TEACHER: How many stars did you see last night? ALEX: 2000 stars, sir. TEACHER: How did you know they were 2000? ALEX: Sir, you are already asking me the second question! Alex is a wise guy indeed. THIRD JOKE: Akpors: Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl. Father: That's great ...

Akpors calls customer care by 1am. After 30mins of advert finally akpors comes on line. Customer care: hello this is Kingsley from MTN customer care how can i help u. Akpors: God punish u. Customer care: Sorry sir that's not polite whats the problem Akpors: Na me u de ask? Check your time wetin de nack Customer care: Sir this 1:30am. Akpors: So why u no dey sleep u be witch? Customer care: No sir am not a. wizard. Akpors: Then wetin u be, others neva sleep finish? Customer care: Sir pls go straight to the reason why u called. Akpors: Ok. I get #99 for my phone, abeg transfer me #1 naira make I take make midnight call. Customers care: Hahahahaha our two now who come be witch. Lol.