Showing posts from May, 2013

Today's Jokes~ Mind Blowing Ones

It was May 27th Childrens day. Akpors was to represent his school in Inter-School Debates Competition.

Mc: Put your hands together as I welcome Rowan College to the Podium for their debates.
A fine litle girl with glasses came forward collected the microphone from the M.C, face the large crowd with sweet cool voice,
She said: Good day to Mr chairman, panel of judges, the accurate time keeper, my fellow co-debators and of cause my respectable audience.
My name is Angel, am here to oppose the motion says that 'Public school is better than private school...
The rest na story........
After she finished, there was a loud and long clapping even Akpors too was clapping and jumping for her.
Mc: Now, ladies and gentlemen put your hands together as i welcome to the podium Alugba-Atanga Community Secondary School for their debates.
Akpors didn't want to come out, how can he face this crowd. That's not even the problem.
What is he going to say?.
In his school …

Nigerians Express Mixed Feelings On Their 14th Democracy Day

Nigerians have expressed mixed feelings over governance as the country celebrates its 14th Democracy Day.
The Federal Government had declared May 29 Democracy Day in 2000 to commemorate the return of civil rule after many years of military governance of the country.
Gen. Abdulsalami Abubakar, handed over power to President Olusegun Obasanjo on May 29, 1999 and the year after, the later declared the date a national holiday.
Commenting on the celebration, the Chief Imam of Apo Legislative Quarters' Mosque, Sheikh Muhammad Khalid, urged Nigerians to offer special prayers for peace, unity and national stability.
Khalid told reporters in Abuja that prayer was the only way for the country to sustain its democracy.
"We are calling on Nigerians to intensify prayers for the strengthening of our evolving democracy in line with international best practices,'' Khalid said.
He, however, advised Nigerian leaders to address issues of justice and equity to achieve meaningful develo…

Start Your Day With These Interesting Jokes

1. A woman goes to her priest one day and tells him,"Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?", the priest inquired. "They say ' Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?' "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed. Then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the bible. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and we 'll put them in the cage with Francis and Job.
My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying ...that phrase... in no time." "Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution".
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots…

Meet The World Most Hairy Girl - Photos Inside

Four-year-old Jing Jing, from Hunan Province, China, is the hairiest girl in the world.
She suffers from a rare genetic condition that causes her to grow excess facial hair.
Doctors in China have offered to help her and they say it could take up to two years for Jing Jing to complete treatment.
Too much of anything is not good at all. We wish her the best.

JTF Takes Over All Boko-Haram Camps

As the military continued its quest to dislodge the Boko Haram terrorists from the north eastern part of the country, the Defense Headquarters Friday said that soldiers have taken over all the camps where the insurgents operated from in Northern and Central parts of Borno State.
This was even as the military said yesterday that soldiers would soon carry out a military exercise code-named Operation Thunderstorm 'on the Abuja-Jere-Kaduna expressway.
Director of Defence Information, Brigadier General Chris Olukolade who spoke in an interview with newsmen,also said that troops on the special operations, stormed the notorious Sambisa forest area and rescued six children and three women kidnapped by the terrorists about three weeks ago.
According to Brig-General Olukolade who was part of a seven- man Assessment Team led by Maj-General Lawrence Ngubane, that visited the operation areas in the last three days, the troops were currently combing the vast Sambisa forest which is about 16 squ…

Liberty Reserve Owner Arrested & Sentenced To 5Years Imprisonment.

Arthur Budovsky Belanchuk, 39, on Friday was arrested in Spain as part of a money laundering investigation performed jointly by police agencies in the United States and Costa Rica.
Costa Rican prosecutor José Pablo González said Budovsky, a Costa Rican citizen of Ukrainian origin, has been under investigation since 2011 for money laundering using a company he created in the country called Liberty Reserve.
Local investigations began after a request from a prosecutor's office in New York. On Friday, San José prosecutors conducted raids in Budovsky's house and offices in Escazá, Santa Ana, southwest of San José, and in the province of Heredia, north of the capital.
Budovsky's businesses in Costa Rica apparently were financed by using money from child Indecency websites and drug trafficking.
New York conviction, According to records from the U.S. Justice
Department, on July 27, 2006, Budovsky and a partner identified as Vladimir Kats were indicted by the state of New Yor…

Jokes Of The Day- Very funny

1. Johnny was in the restaurant yesterday when he suddenly realized he desperately needed to pass gas (fart).

The music was really really loud, so he timed his gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, he started feeling better. He finished his coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at him....
Then he suddenly remembered that he was listening to his iPod on the earphone.

2. Akpors have been absent from school for some weeks and his father have been telling him to go to school. His class teacher decided to check on Akpors to know why he have been absent.
That faithful evening Akpors father was well sitted outside and Akpors playing around the compound
(here is the conversation between Akpors and his father)

Father: Akpors is that not your teacher coming?

Akpors: Yes, thats true oo

Father: you better go and hide inside so that he doesn't find you playing around and you know you have been absent from school

Akpors: papa, you're …

MTN Project Fame Season 6 Auditions Has Begun

Africa's most productive musical reality TV show, MTN Project Fame season six is set to hit the airwaves soon as auditions for the show begin today. Kicking-off in Monrovia,before moving on to Accra, Freetown and then Nigeria, the audition train will end up in Lagos, in June.
In addition, MTN, the leading telecommunications network provider in the continent, has put in so much effort to make sure each of the audition cities has a taste of stardom as arrangements have been made to hold an 'All-Stars Concert', prior to the auditions.
Remarkably, under six years, the musical talent reality show has been the most productive, especially to participants who made it to stardom. The most recent were 'Kukere' crooner , Iyanya Mbuk, Praiz who has re-invented the passion for Rhythm and Blues in Africa as well as Chidinma, who just won the KORA Award for Best Female West Africa act and Kesse, who is doing so well in Ghana.
This season, the entire West African sub-region will…


Boss says to secretary: For a week, we will go abroad, so make arrangements.

Secretary makes a call to her Husband: " For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, so look after yourself. "
Husband makes call to secret lover: "My wife is going abroad for a week, so let's spend the week together. "
Secret lover makes a call to a little boy whom she is giving private lessons: "I have to work for a week, so you need not come for class. "
Little boy makes call to his grandfather (The Boss): "Grandpa, for a week, I don't have classes because my teacher is busy. Let's spend the week together."

Grandpa (The Boss) makes a call to his Secretary: ' This week I am spending time with my grandson. We can't attend the meeting any longer. '
Secretary makes a call to her husband: 'My boss has some personal matters to attend to, so our trip is cancelled. '
Husband makes a call to secret lover: ' We cannot spend this week toge…

18ft Python Killed Was In Florida-Amazing

A Miami man briefly wrestled with and ultimately used a knife to kill
a Burmese python measuring 18 feet, 8 inches.
That sets a state record for pythons captured or killed in the wild.
The previous record measured 17 feet, 7 inches.
Jason Leon was not hunting pythons but, while driving late at night
recently in southeast Miami-Dade County, he and a friend spotted about
3 feet of snake protruding from the bush.
Leon applied the brakes, climbed out of the car, grabbed the visible
portion of the snake, and began hauling it onto the road.
The giant constrictor responded by trying to wrap its body around one
of Leon's legs, but he was able to dispatch the reptile with a knife.
Burmese pythons are native to grassy marshes of Southeast Asia and can
grow to about 23 feet and weigh up to about 200 pounds.
In Florida, where they've been released as pets and escaped from
wildlife facilities, there are thousands of them, mostly within the
Everglades ecosystem.
As such a l…

Interesting Jokes To Start The Day

Little Johnny farts in the
classroom and his teacher
gets really upset and throws him out. He goes and sits outside the
class and can't stop laughing.
The principal walks by and sees him sitting outside laughing. He says,
"Little Johnny what are you doing sitting here laughing?"
Little Johnny says,"I farted
in class and the teacher
threw me out."
The principal says,"Well
then, why are you laughing?"
Little Johnny replied, "Because the dumb idiots are sitting in the
classroom smelling my fart while they put me
outside in this beautiful, clean air."
Chichi: Do you smoke?
Akpors: Yes.
Chichi: How many packs a day?
Akpors: 3 packs.
Chichi: How much per pack?
Akpors: N200.
Chichi: And how long have you been smoking?
Akpors: For 15 years.
Chichi: So, one pack costs N200, and…

All You Need To Know About GLO Mobile Number Portability

Mobile Number Portability simply means that you can change from your
current mobile provider to enjoy better quality and cheaper rates on
the Glo network without changing your mobile number. In other words,
you don't need to inform your friends and relatives about any change
in your number after you've moved to Glo. This is of great benefit to
businessmen and professionals where they may have to suffer loss of
customers due to change in mobile number.
Mobile number portability (MNP) has so far been implemented in more
than 60 countries worldwide. Nigeria just launched on the 22nd of
April 2013. Several emerging countries have
recently introduced Mobile Number Portability (Qatar launched MNP on
the 31st January 2013), while others are planning to launch this year
such as Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Costa Rica, Paraguay and Tanzania...
How do I port my number to Glo?
• Porting is free of Charge. • Wal…

My Favourites Quotes Of The Day (30 Quotes)

1. "Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.
If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." - Albert
2. "If it's me against 48, I feel sorry for the 48."- Margaret Thatcher
3. "It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin
it. If you think about that you'll do things differently."-Warren
4. "Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you
do it." - Maya Angelou
5. "The difference between a successful person and others is not a
lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack in will."
- Vince Lombardi
6. "We can't become what we need to be by remaining what we are."-Oprah Winfrey.
7. "Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes
nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it." -
Ralph Waldo Emerson.
8. "The whole secret of a successful life i…

15 Things That You Need To Know

1. At least five people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least fifteen people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to
be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they
don't like you.
5. Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique.
9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look:
you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you
probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably,
sooner or later, you will get it.
13. Always remember the compliments you recieved. Forget the rud…

Interesting Jokes To Lighten Your Weekend

1. Johnny rushes into a bar & told the barman: "Quick, give me a
bottle of Heineken before the trouble starts."
The barman obliged. He finished the drink in one gulp, and again said:
"Quick, give me another bottle of Guiness before
the trouble starts." He also downed it.
The barman said: "Just a minute, when is all this trouble going to start?"

Johnny replied: "Anytime from now, because I have got no money!

2. A man with an Ak47 rifle ran into a church and pointed the gun at
the Congregation saying who is a child of God here, let me send
him/her to heaven? The congregation kept silent he released a shot in
the roof, the congregation shouted it's the pastor, he always say that
he is a child of God. Pastor replied, "what kind of conspiracy is
this? Everyone here knows that I'm the…

How To Send Unlimited SMS With Your MTN Line To All Networks In Nigeria For Free.

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JAMB Gets 7 Days Ultimatum To Release Scripts For Remarking

An education consultant, Mr. Oludotun Shodunke, has given the Joint
Admissions and Matriculation Board (JAMB) a seven-day ultimatum to
release some scripts for re-marking or face court action.
Shodunke wants to prove that the examination body failed many
candidates because the examination questions allegedly leaked.
In an interview withThe Nation, Shodunke, who led some candidates to
protest the mass failure in the UnifiedTertiary Matriculation
Examination (UTME) in Maryland, Lagos, last Thursday, queried the JAMB
leadership led by Prof Dibu Ojerinde in conducting the examination.
He stressed that most of the students "were failed" by the body
because of the rumour that the examination papers leaked.
"If the examination papers leaked, the right thing is for the body to
have cancelled the exercise and fixed another day for it. You cannot
punish students with what I called 'monumental failure' because the
examination papers leaked. Leakage of examinations cannot b…

FG Of Nigeria Repatriates 19,000 Illegal Immigrants

The Minister of Interior, Abba Moro, has revealed that 19,000 illegal
immigrants have been arrested and repatriated by the Federal
Government to rid the nation of expatriates suspected to be fueling
insurgency in parts of the country.
Moro told newsmen that: "19,000 illegal immigrants have been sent out
of the country and that surveillance equipment would be installed at
the nation's borders, in collaboration with the United States of
According to the minister, "extra-ordinary problems require
extra-ordinary solutions and we will do what is necessary to address
the current challenges".
Explaining the cost implications of installing the surveillance
equipment at the borders, Moro revealed that the earlier quotations by
two foreign firms with the expertise to undertake the project, ZTE and
Hawaei conglomerates, were in the region of about $2. 6 billion (about
N405 billion).
His words, "on the cost of implementating the surveillance equipment
in our bord…

6 Things You Need To Remember In Life-Nice

1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more

comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember
the enemy's name.

3. If you help someone when they're in
trouble, they will continue to remember you when they're
in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it's
illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but
then neither does milk.

6. Condoms don't guarantee safe sex. A

friend of mine was wearing one, when he

was shot by the woman's husband.

Easiest Way To Find The Serial Number and Product Number of Your HP Laptop.

Many people have being asking how they could get the product and
serial numbers of their HP Netbook for it to be configured for SIM
registration which will involve the installation of Axon Face2Face
application and HP connection manager . Unfortunately for them, their
laptop is getting old and the sticker at the back of the netbook with
the serial number has faded...
I never took interest until my friend also called me and asked me
wether I knew other ways he can get the serial number of his HP
I then surf and did sum little reasearch and found some tips which I
have decided to share with you.
Click Start, Enter HP in the search field, and select " HP Support
Assistant " from the search results list if using Windows 7 or Vista
PC . If it is Windows XP PC , select " HP Help and Support " from the
list. Look at the bottom edge of the window for " Serial Number &qu…

7 Things We Shouldn't Do After Taking Our Meal

1. Don't smoke : Experiments from experts
proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10
(chances of cancer is higher)
2. Don't eat fruits immediately:
Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated
with air. Therefore take fruits 1 -2 hours after meal or 1 hour before
3. Don't drink tea: Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This
substance will cause the protein content in the food we consume to be
hundred thus difficult to digest.
4. Don't loosen your belt: Loosening the belt after meal will easily
cause the intestine to be twisted and blocked.
5. Don't bathe: Bathing …

Blackberry Messenger (BBM) Coming to Android and iOS This Summer

BlackBerry CEO Thorsten Heins announced during the company's annual
BlackBerry Live conference today that their popular social messaging
system BlackBerry Messenger (BBM), will be made available across
multiple mobile platforms later thisyear.
"It's time to bring BBM to agreater audience. No matter what mobile
devicethey carry," Heins said during the conference. He added that BBM
will be made available for Android and iOS as a free app this summer,
which should be available for African users in a couple ofweeks.
For the app to work on iOS,users will have to make sure that they
update to atleast iOS 6 or above, while Android users will have to
update their devices to version 4.0 (Ice Cream Sandwich) or above.
Heins added that BlackBerry has more than 60 million monthly active
customers, with more than51 million people using BBM an average of 90
minutes per day, and added that BBM video chat, voice and screen
sharing features will also be available across multiple plat…

Interesting Jokes~Come In And Laugh!!!

Akpos, a driver who

survived in a tragic

accident which
rendered 50 people
dead at

Express Way was
remanded in

police custody to
assist in police

Here is the

POLICE: Mr Akpos,
how did you end up
50 people?

AKPOS: I was driving
at 150km/hr when I
two men crossing
the road. On the
other side,
a wedding was
taking place. I hit
the brake
but it failed, so I
had to make a
choice; either
to hit the two men or
run into the

POLICE: Hit the two
men of course to

AKPOS: Exactly, we
think alike oooh!

But after
hitting one, the

other man escaped
into the
wedding party.

POLICE: So, what did

you do?

AKPOS: I went after
him to balance the

people lost their
lives in the process.



Reasons Why Some Students Take To Cheating In Exams As Their Habit.

JAMB is an exam which is said to be a first step ahead for your
admission into the Tertiary institution after which you take your Post
Jamb if you have passed the Jamb with reasonable Marks.
But these days, the system has become corrupt because students no
longer read their books instead they depend on Expo which they are
expecting on that day of the exam.
But the question is that 'is the expo they are depending on correct?'
From my own perspective, my answer would be "Yes". Yes the answers
maybe correct because some how the questions gets to some people
earlier before the exam either through some corrupt Jamb officials or
through the process of delivery and printing. But at the same time the
answers may also be wrong (wrong source).
You may also ask why they don't get very high marks even as they have
seen the questions but the truth is that, it is someone that would
have to solve the questions and also there might …

Hurray! As Jamb has finally released all results With Biometric Problem.

Jamb today (14th MAY 2013) has finally released all results that were
sieze because of No biometric verification.
Students can now check their result through the official jamb result
checking site
Dibu, jamb registrar promised earlier that all results sieze because
of biometric wahala would be released before the end of change of
course/institution form this friday. This promised was made when he
was summoned by the reps few days back and here coms the results.
But the worst thing is that the failure still remains. The released
results more than half scored low grades. The question is "why did
jamb failed people for no reason?"
Releasing the result is good but the failure wasnt changed.
Goodluck in checking your results.

Result site:

Akpos In Serious Trouble-very funny.

TEACHER (drew a map of Nigeria on the board): Who can tell me what I
drew on d board?
STUDENTS: No answer
TEACHER: So nobody can tell me what is on the board right?
STUDENTS: No answer except Akpors.
TEACHER: Ok Akpors come out. Who else?
STUDENTS: No answer.
TEACHER: Is it only Akpors that is in this class? (really angry).
Ok Akpors take this cain & give everybody in this class five, five strokes each.
After 'caning' and the whole class was in tears.
TEACHER: Now Akpors, tell the class what I drew on the board?
AKPORS: Eh… It's a YAM sir!
If you were part of the student beaten by Akpos, what will u do to him?

Conversation Between Dibu and Jamb-Exposed___lol....

Dibu: Jambuuu,..jambuuuu, where is dat useless jamb.
Jamb: here sir...
Dibu: jamb u av been passing student since all dis yrs, dis yr i wnt u
2 fail dem
Jamb: sir,its nt fair nw.. lets pass dem, at least post ume go fail dem
Dibu: jambu ar u a fool? they wnt 2 scrap u n u wnt 2 pass dem.. letz
fail dem n leave a legacy behind..
Jamb: dats true hw can we fail dem..
Dibu: dats my boi..jambu jus let dem write d exam..we'l jus gv dem
baba ijebu number as their score,..
Jamb: ..ok sir, so wat abt our public figure statement.
Dibu: leave dat 2 me, i'l tel d world dey did malpractise, 45% passed
n 10 pple score 300 and abv, d world will believe me
jamb: who wil b d 10 pple na.. dnt wory they are ghost, -shongo, ifa,
ogun n d rest of their brodas,pple wil nt knw dem..
Jamb:. .i lyk ur style mr dibu,..kai u get am 4 swag.... niaja go hear
weeeen...make we c how dem go take enta university...yeye pple won
scrap me jamb..we nid more customer nxt yr oo....

Browse On Facebook For Free With Your Glo Network

Glo network is bringing lots
of wonders nowadays. Beside
the fact that you can now
get five (5) times credit on
every recharge you make on
the Glo Biiig Five times promo by migrating to the
biiig plan with *100*7*1#,
you can now get to browse

facebook on Globacom for

free now.
Airtel had earlier cameup with this free facebook. With Glo, you
can now browse facebook,

add friends, write on their

wall, poke them for free

with this new Glo Zero

facebook browsing. This was exactly what was seen on
their website.

"Connect, Interact,

Socialize for FREE with

Zero Facebook from Glo.

You can now interact

with friends and family

online for free with Zero Facebook, no data
required. Write on your friends'
walls, add new friends,
check on events, send
messages and search

Facebook all free on Zero


With this recent

development, one can now
connect and enjoy facebook
browsing at a cost of N0.0
To do this, instead of

typing from your d…

Airtel Nigeria Introduces Single Recharge System For voice And Data.

One of Nigeria's leading telecommunications operator, Airtel Nigeria,
has introduced a dual-purpose single recharge card for both voice and
data services on the network that will allow customers to recharge for
both services with only one recharge card.
The Single Recharge Option, another first in the industry by Airtel,
is available in both physical and electronic recharge formats. The
physical recharge card comes in N100, N500 and N5000 denominations,
while the electronic pin (paper) option are available in denominations
of N100, N200, N500, N1000, N2000 and N5000.
For the Single Recharge, the old process of recharge for the Airtel
voice service still suffices as customers are to dial *126* followed
by the Recharge PIN and then #.
However, to subscribe for data service on the same recharge card,
customers will need to dial *143* followed by Recharge PIN and #.
The Single Recharge Option also attracts applicable bonus rates for
data subscription depending on the a…

Interesting Fun Facts Of The Day-PART 1

1. Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system.
2. If you add together all the numbers on a roulette wheel (1 to 36)
the total is the mystical number 666. 3. Albert Einstein was offered
the presidency of Israel in 1952, but he declined.
4. Microsoft made $16,005 in revenue in its first year of operation.
5. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
6. The youngest pope was 11 years old.
7. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.
8. The chicken is one of the few things that man eats before it's born
and after it's dead.
9. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
10. There are three golf balls sitting on the Moon.
11. Morphine was given its name in 1803 by the discoverer, a 20 year
old German pharmacist named Friedrich Saturner. He named it after
Morpheus, the Greek god of dreams.
12. Karate actually originated in India, but was developed further in China.
13. On average, wome…

Nigerian Students Protest Over JAMB Biometric Problem In Benin, Edo State

Nigerian students are not happy the Way Jamb marked their result this
year, One of the Candidate who wrote to us stated that his result was
withheld simply because she didn't scanned her finger before writing
the examination, But when we asked her about what happened, she told
us that the jamb officers told them not to worry about the biometric
finger print that it was not important.

To her Suprise, She could not Check here Result due to an Error
showing Up "You cannot see you Result, because You have no Biometric

The Protest was a Searious One in Benin, Edo State.

Nigerian Students urge JAMB to Release their Result, The Biometric
Verification Issues was Jamb Fault not Ours, One of the Jambites said.

Do you think if their is an Alternative to Jamb Examination, just like
other Exam Bodies in Nigeria, This Non Challant Attitude from JAMB
will stop?

Drop your View via comments!

Students In Kano Protest Mass UTME Failure

Hundreds of students, who sat for the Unified Tertiary Matriculation
Examination on Monday in Kano staged a peaceful demonstration against
mass failure and with holding of their results.

The students stormed the premises of the Federal Radio Corporation of
Nigeria in Kano on motorcycles around noon and carried placards and
green leaves to show their anger.

Spokesman for the candidates, Haruna Maidabam, described the with
holding of their results as a deliberate attempt to deny them the
opportunity to further their studies.

According to him, more than 10, 000 students who sat for the
examination in Kano metropolis have yet to access their results.

Maidabam said when the results were released last week, they went to
the zonal office of Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board in Kano
(JAMB) to complain but were directed to go and repeat the thumb
printing for verification.

''There is no reason for any verification of thumb- print,'' he said.

He called on the authoritie…

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JOKE: Akpos And The Prostitute

Akpos took a prostitute to the
hotel. While in hot sex in the dead of
the night, the lady suddenly went limp
and lifeless. While the confused Akpos
was still trying to understand what's
happening, the girl's phone rang and

he picked it up. Here's the conversation
between Akpos and a male voice from the
other end of the line:

Voice: guy, you're in trouble! That girl

you just rapped to death is the IG's daughter.

Akpos: but I didn't rape her. I paid her for
service rendered.

Voice: tell that to the police.

Akpos: so what do you want me to do. I
can't afford to go to prison.

Voice: pay me 50 thousand naira and I will handle the
rest. We could go to the nearest ATM
machine if u don't have d cash on u. I'm

a patient businessman.

Akpos: look, I'm a businessman too. I
know a ritualist who will pay 5million naira
for a fresh corpse like this one. We

can share it 50/50.

Give me a minute to

call him.

The prostitute suddenly jumped up
from th…

2013/2014 POST-UME Cut-off Marks For Universities And Polytechnics


=> University of Port Harcourt, UNIPORT: 200 and above for

Dentistry, Pharmacy, Engineering (except Civil&

Environmental Engineering), Management Sciences,

Medicine, Nursing and Social Sciences; 180 and above for

others are invited to a Screening Exercise First Choice and

Second Choice

=> Nnamdi Azikiwe University, NAU/UNIZIK: 180 Arts (except

Departments of English&History) and Education 200 for


=> Federal University of Technology Owerri, FUTO: 180 First

and Second Choice.

=> University of Ibadan UI: 200 First and Second Choice Most


=> University of Lagos Unilag: 200 all courses, First Choice only

=> University of Nigeria, Nsukka, UNN: 200 all courses; first

and second Choice.

=> Obafemi Awolowo University OAU: 200; first and second


=> Nnamdi Azikiwe University, NAU/UNIZIK: 180 Arts (except

Departments of English&History) and Education and 200 for

others; first choice only.

=> University of Ilor…



(FRI 10TH MAY 2013)


























JOKE! JOKE!! JOKE!!!~Come in and laugh your ribs

Papa Akpors: Akpos, I learnt your JAMB result is out.
Akpors: Daddy You remember John wey dey carry first for our whole
school? he failed...
Papa Akpors: that's terrible, what happened?Akpors: You also remember
Paul wey dey teach me for house? He failed too.
Papa Akpors: what's causing the poor performance?
Akpors: Daddy I don't know, na so e be o.
Even Kelvin who won the Cowbell competition failed too.
Papa Akpors: so how was your own result?
Akpors : You also remember OKON, our senior prefect? He failed.
Papa Akpors: (Angrily) Boy, Tell me about your own result!!
Akpors : (angrily) If all those people failed, wetin You expect for my
own result?? I be witch?

After sex, a women was reading tatooes on a man's body.
NIKE on the arm,
REEBOK on the thigh.
She screamed when she saw AIDS on the penis.
"Relax"...the man said, "…